brown water with a side of dumbass

so I moved to Park Slope about half a year ago. I know, boo hiss, Park Slope stroller brigade and all that, but I got a back yard so eat it. So I moved to Park Slope about half a year ago and as a result I've got enough sub par overpriced places in the hood to go on about for for a while.

I'm going to start with a coffee shop right around the corner from my house. This "neighborhood institution" has been slanging "insipid doo doo water" for something like 25 years. Really? 25 years? Do people in New York really have such a base palate for a good cup of coffee that they would support this suck shop for that long? (No offense guys but those coffee carts are straight nasty, an old colleague said he saw a line of these carts of doo filling up their water from a hose at the Jersey side of the Holland Tunnel.)

So the coffee is watered down. Now we get to the stumbling morons behind the counter. What the fuck with the having to repeat my order three times every time I went it? And while we're at it, if you are going to work at a coffee shop and English isn't your first language, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest you learn the word Espresso. That's just me though.

Yeah so I got a tip for the "counter intelligence" at Ozzie's (it just sounds like a suck joint!), shit off with a side of eat it...bitches.

Next week, that bagel place that sells sushi.